Author Archives: Dorkusbalorkus

Dream a Little Dream For Me

Ah yes, another night, another string of crazy-a** dreams. At one point, I was dropping this baby off at an animal shelter for “training.” He was completely unruly. And a cat that looked like Buster was in the next cage. The baby somehow could stand up and talk and it started yelling as I shut [...]

By Dorkusbalorkus on May 20, 2008 Posted in ULTRAus™ 3 Comments

Fashionists Criticize Polygamists: WTF

Let me just start off by saying that I cannot believe…CANNOT believe…that this article was actually written and published for a major news company. Someone has actually gone to decent lengths to analyze the garb worn by the fundamentalist mormon women we’ve heard so much about lately. And not only that, but the writer interviewed [...]

By Dorkusbalorkus on April 22, 2008 Posted in ULTRAnews™ 1 Comment

Lesson on Shadowy Figures

My mom tells a story about her uncle and a creepy period of his life that involved a shadowy figure. Uncle grew up on a farm, and as a young man, he was responsible for hitching up the horses to the carriage to run errands in town or drive the family to church. For a [...]

By Dorkusbalorkus on April 21, 2008 Posted in ULTRAlesson™ 2 Comments

Excuse Me, ABC and Lost,

Your decision to air a two-hour long episode of Lost concerns me. Frankly, I feel disprespected. You’re obviously confident that everyone must love your show so much that they’ll sit through an extra HOUR of it, putting themselves out and possibly losing one more hour of sleep. That’s a little presumptuous, don’t you think? Especially [...]

By Dorkusbalorkus on April 18, 2008 Posted in ULTRAexcuseme™ 1 Comment

Scientists Discover ‘Proven’ Fertility Diet

For years, mature women who struggle to conceive have been baffled by the ease with which teen girls become pregnant, prompting researchers to begin a study of a group of high-schoolers in southeastern Ohio—to see if any link between their diet and fertility could be drawn. Scientists followed a group of 100 girls, asking them [...]

By Dorkusbalorkus on April 15, 2008 Posted in ULTRAnews™ 1 Comment

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