Category Archives: ULTRAexcuseme™

Wow. I don’t even know where to begin this. Should I say sorry? Should I call the cops? I’m unsure. Perhaps, both are in order. First off, I’m sorry (but not really). I didn’t mean to almost laugh in your face when we walked around to the next aisle and you were there. My wife [...]

In light of your recent song of “inspiration” about the tragic events that occurred at VT Tech, I just thought I’d let you know it won’t make me forget about your incidents involving sex w/ minors and peeing on people. Therefore, I feel it necessary to post this hilarious video that Dave Chappelle made instead [...]

What’s up? I see that you brought my thin crust, pepperoni pizza all nice and warm. Thank you. You actually brought it 15 minutes earlier than the guy on the phone said, which comes as a complete and total shock to me. I’m sure that you are also shocked as well… at my appearance. For [...]

I would just like to let you know that you were completely and utterly wrong. At the time, you probably thought you were clever and that someone would laugh when they saw what you did. Perhaps, you wanted someone to be proud of you for your “great accomplishment.” Maybe it all stems back to when [...]

For the past week, you have covered TWO stories: the ’08 election and Anna Nicole Smith’s paternity mess. At first we thanked the heavens for something else to talk about besides the election we will be forced to hear about for TWO friggin’ years. But now, we’re sick of all the “breaking” news about Anna. [...]