300
Slow motion Spartan killing and then some fast motion Spartan killing! 5 out of 5 men loved the film but agreed there should have been more boobies.

TMNT
A great new 3D animated story of the turtles after they’ve disbanded for a while, and must team up once again to save the world. 3 out of 5 children stood up and danced at the song in the credits.

Grindhouse
Two B-Movies for the price of one! Planet Terror is the better of the two, but the whole experience was extremely awesome. 4.5 out of 5 fake trailers should be made into real films.

Blades of Glory
An alright comedy about two ice skating male rivals eventually team up to go for the gold medal in pairs skating. 3 out of 5 “HOLY CRAP”’s were heard when Jenna Fisher came out in lingerie.

Disturbia
Shia Lebouf is under house arrest so he started watching his neighbors in this updated “Rear Window” like thiller. 4 out of 5 main actors were not in the Matrix.

It’s been a while since we’ve shared some reviews with you. So let’s review!

Lady in the Water

The twist of this movie… is that it sucked. 2 out of 5 characters in this movie were cool.

The Gridiron Gang

A true story about Juvies playing football for self-esteem starring Dwayne Johnson and Xzibit. 3 out of 5 inmates had their cars pimped during the movie.

Little Miss Sunshine

This movie has the absolute best dance sequence ever. 5 out of 5 moms were shocked and appalled.

Poseidon

A giant wave flips a giant boat and giant perils stand in a few people’s way. 4 out of 5 people agree that Kurt Russell is still awesome.

Miami Vice

A movie too long, too boring, and had the least-action for an action movie I’ve ever seen. 0 out of 5 gofast boats did anything other that take people from point A to point B.

Idiocracy

Mike Judge’s new movie was too dumb for it’s own good. 2 out of 5 balls were destroyed filming “Ow my Balls!”.

School for Scoundrels

Napoleon Dynamite’s Jon Heder stars in a new movie I don’t hate and does a pretty decent job with his hilarious comedian castmates. 3.5 out of 5 lessons were pretty great ideas.

The list goes on and on. I’m pretty busy as well, so I’ve decided to follow the previous post and review with one sentence. I review out of 5… unlike the previous poster.

A Christmas Story

I’ve never seen “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “Miracle on 34th Street”, but I watch this film numerous times a year. 5 out of 5 children dressed as a bunny will shoot their eyes out.

Grandma’s Boy

Surprisingly hilarious because of Nick Swardson’s comic genius. 4 out of 5 game testers living with their grandmas can’t stop it because it feels too good.

Superman Returns

Super boring and super long. 2 out of 5 guys who dig tights will recommend this.

Zorro: The Gay Blade

Zorro’s got a busted leg, so his gay brother comes by to swashbuckle the bad guys. 3 out of 5 masked men are wearing costumes made from fruit-colored fabrics.

Gallagher: The Sledge O Matic Collection

Disc 3 was hilarious. 4 out of 5 Watermelons died making this show.

Thought I’d take a minute to round up some reviews of movies we’ve watched, starting since this past Christmas. Since I’m pretty busy (as I’m sure you are all, too), I’ve decided to save sweet time by limiting my reviews to one sentence per movie. If you would like more detailed reviews, feel free to send me a quick message with your question. But since I probably won’t respond, just go ahead and visit www.rottentomatoes.com.

The Highlander

There should be only one “not as good as advertised movie” starring Christopher Lambert, but no…there’s many, many more. 2 out of 4 Man Pony Tails wish they appeared in this film.

The Benchwarmers

Not even the sped up fart jokes were funny (and that’s saying A LOT). 1/2 out of 4 Man-Childs thought this was hilarious.

Silent Hill

Pass the Depends, please. 3 out of 4 Religious Fanatics loved this movie.

Accepted

Has an acceptable level of hilariousity. 2 1/2 out of 4 potheads laughed their potheads off.

The Game

Get ready to blow your mind. 3 out of 4 immature high schoolers thought the twists in this movie were like insane.

Beowulf & Grendel (2005)

Beo-retarded. 0 out of 4 hairy trolls enjoyed this movie.

AKA “The Fastest and Furiest” or “3 Fast 3 Furious”

Does it surprise you that I saw this movie? Well, to be honest it surprised me. I’ll never forget saying “this movie is going to be stupid” walking into the theatre with my parents to see the Fast and the Furious, or when I said “I can’t believe I’m watching the sequel” whilst walking into the theatre w/ Darren for 2 Fast 2 Furious. This franchise of films looked so stupid to me, but yet I loved both the first and second films.

When I saw that none of the stars from the original or sequel were to appear in the third, I was a bit apprehensive to be honest. I saw the preview and said “Even though this looks dumb, I know I’m going to see it in the theatre.” There was no doubting this, it was fate.

So if you haven’t already seen the first two (which you should because they are surprisingly good) you won’t be out of the loop for the third. No story continuations or anything, just a new kid with a lead foot who ends up in Tokyo. What you will get out of this third film is some pretty sweet driving and drifting and you’ll leave the theatre with a smile on your face and a strong desire to pull the e-brake as you’re taking a corner. And, I used the word “and” four times in that sentence. The lead actor (Lucas Black) was entertaining, and I wanted to yeah out “Bow WooooOOW!” every time the young rapper (aka Twinkie) was on the screen.

This is the kind of film I love to watch. Something that I can just go and relax and enjoy. I’m happy with the newest turn in the franchise and hope they continue it on.

4 out of 5 Japanese girls with short skirts enjoyed this film.